The 111 Standards

On January 18, 1971, the twelfth Kerista tribal community (K12) was formed.  Over the years, tribal members developed and elected to adopt the following standards of civility.  These 111 standards are not absolutes.  The standards on which there is congruence or agreement between people are those that are kept.

 FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES

1.  Social Tolerance

Respect for all choices of religion, lifestyle and culture without prejudice.  People of good will may have fundamental differences of opinion that can be graciously put forth and discussed, whether or not agreement is reached.

2.  Equality

A sophisticated approach allows for appreciation of differences between individual people (differences of skills, talents, temperament, and so forth) without interfering with the basic sense of equality.  Emotions or behavior emanating from inferiority/ superiority complex should be confronted and contained.

3.  Non-Sexism

Women and men are completely equal, and should be treated accordingly.

4.  Non-Ageism

A person's age does not automatically signify wisdom, ignorance, or any other mental qualities.  Any adult of any age should be treated with equal respect and status. Children should be encouraged to develop the sense of equality and should also be treated as equals wherever realistically appropriate.

5.  Non-Racism

No racial or ethnic group is superior or inferior to any other.  Treat people as equals regardless of their race or ethnic origin.  Each human being is unique.

6.  Non-Classism

Economic net worth or social background has no bearing on present relationships, privileges or treatment of any person.

7.  Participatory Democracy

One person, one vote, with majority rule, is the best decision-making process in most instances.  Voting is a pleasure; losing a vote is no big deal.  Issues can be talked out at length prior to voting depending on their significance.  Global democracy is a long-range goal.

8.  Identification with Lasting Liberty

Love and appreciate individual liberty and participatory democracy; avoid doing things that would destroy or weaken the freedoms we have already won.

9.  Attitude of Social Responsibility

Take the problems of humanity and the world seriously and personally to the extent of seeking to use your energy in some way toward ultimate solutions.

10.  Embracing the Concept of the "Universal Ethic"

There is a "universal ethic" of commonsense values; a basic Code of Honor and ethical, humanitarian perspective applicable across all cultures.  These values include things like kindness, fairness, honesty and loyalty.  Everybody should strive for inner moral and ethical excellence.

11.  Anything Not Prohibited Is Allowed

It is a given (but worth stating nevertheless) that anything not prohibited by the social contract is OK, within the jurisdiction of individual preference.

12.  Verbality

Conversation is an art form everyone can and should try to develop.  Verbalization is essential to mental health, friendship and self-esteem, and should happen regardless of what other forms of communication a person chooses to engage in.  Most people are shy to some degree, especially when relationships are new; this is not grounds for being completely non-verbal.

13.  Li (Propriety)

Confucius said that there is a right response to any given situation.  These standards should be applied in their appropriate contexts.  So, for instance, asking a business contact about her/his sex life would be a bad move.  Likewise, giving intense critical input to anyone not voluntarily involved in a confrontational process would be inappropriate.  Sensitivity to the holistic "gestalt" of any situation is a key to knowing what the best approach may be in each situation.

14.  Economic Self-Responsibility

People are responsible for seeking a comfortable means of support (or a gift-labor equivalent) and to pay their own way, as opposed to looking for handouts or for others to support them.

RULES FOR SOCIAL CONVIVIALITY ~ GOOD MANNERS

15.  Conviviality

Maintain a cheerful disposition and an engaging, sociable attitude as much as possible. This includes not raising your voice in rage, anger (or other angry outburst), no threats, harassment, rudeness, snottiness, violent behavior or any kind of uptightness, or doing anything for which you'll have to apologize later.

16.  Graceful Distancing

Any disengagement (break up) initiated by any party from a previous involvement or relationship should be done gracefully, i.e., without ill will, resentment, stickiness, guilt trips or other crude behavior on either side.  A person may voluntarily, for any reason whatsoever, withdraw from any association at any time, and should feel free to do so.

17.  Good Manners and Common Courtesy

Take etiquette, courtesy and good manners seriously.  Always try to behave in a sensitive, considerate, and refined fashion.  Respect basic principles of courtesy in all things, such as keeping one's word, keeping appointments, returning calls, being responsible and listening while others are speaking.

18.  (Strive to) Clean Up Your Own Mess

Clean up your own dishes, living or working space, bathtub ring, etc.

19.  Cooperative Spirit

Be genuinely cooperative wherever possible.  Willful non-cooperation is always a drag.

20.  Sense of Humor/No Touchiness or Uptightness

Acting bugged, sulky, angry, and/or losing one's sense of humor are breaches of good manners and congeniality.  It is possible to put forth strong disagreement and differences of opinion without getting uptight.  No matter how serious a situation might be, strive to maintain a good, cheerful perspective, sense of humor and overall objective psychological equilibrium.  Overreacting emotionally, going into a panic, or chronic morbidity (beyond normal lows in ordinary mood range) are problems that should be looked at and dealt with.

21.  Ability to Lose a Vote or a "Choose" Gracefully

Winning all the time in votes or "chooses" is not the way things go in life and it's no big deal.  Losing can be taken cheerfully, in the spirit of being a "good sport."  Winning calls for grace without any gloating.

22.  Social Charm Maintenance

Friendliness and social charm are not only appropriate and expected in the first stages of building a friendship, but should also be kept alive after a relationship has already been established, is familiar and ongoing.  Don't accept the premise that "familiarity breeds contempt" as an inevitable truth.

23.  Non-Salaciousness

A healthy appreciation of sex and beauty is fine, so long as it doesn't move over into causing you to act like a doggie with its tongue hanging out (i.e., lecherous, pushy, crude, gawky or otherwise uncool) around persons you find attractive, making them feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

24.  No Touching Anyone without Her/His Consent

Some people are into social hugging; others are not.  It is ungracious to assume that another person is into it unless she/he indicates openness to such gestures.  Avoid "pawing" other people.

25.  No Proselytizing

Any belief or idea may be advocated by emphasizing its selling points, but without a pushy agenda to convert others to that point of view.

26.  Keeping It Together at a Party

There is no good excuse for abdicating personal responsibility and behaving like a jerk. Social intoxication is OK so long as it doesn't make you cross the line into crude, rude, or obnoxious behavior at parties or other social gatherings.  Limit your drinking so as not to get sick at a party.

27.  Requests Are Not Demands

Never ask someone to do something as a suggestion or favor that is really a demand, where the answer "no" is not really acceptable.  Be gracious when someone declines your request.

28.  Colorful, Earthy, Explicit Language is OK

Intellectual, rational dialogue doesn't rule out the use of animated, dynamic, humorous language or conversational styles.  In a social situation, being very specific and verbally informal about personal matters such as sex or relationships is in good taste, as long as whatever is said comes from good will.  (This doesn't mean that constant or excessive use of profanity is OK; only that profanity is not taboo.)

29.  Good Humor

Any attempts to be funny (which are always encouraged) are, like anything else, subject to evaluation by the group mind.  Humor that comes through to others as being in poor taste, rather than funny, should be let go of. Humor should not be used to hurt, degrade or humiliate.

30.  Eliminating Nervous Propensities

The objective here is to create a mutually supportive environment in which no one acts as if she/he is always nervous or in a hurry to go somewhere.  Constant use of profanity is an example of a nervous condition that ought to be eliminated.  Constantly interrupting people in the middle of a sentence or not listening when others are speaking are two other examples.  Manic rapping (rapid-fire, constant talk that allows no room for dialogue) is still another.  Another example is not knowing when to stop talking (this is called a "filibuster").

31.  Appropriateness in the Guest-Host Context

When in the role of guest or host, observe basic good manners (such as not tying up the telephone for long periods of time while visiting in someone else's space, or inviting your own guests over to someone else's home without their permission).  Also, do not overstay your welcome.  The ideal guest is sensitive about timing and the length of a visit.

32.  Good Communication about Agreements

When you discuss an issue and reach agreement with others, and later, for any reason, change your mind about it, you are honor-bound to discuss your new feelings or plans with the others involved, to either re-confirm the original decision or confirm a new one. You should not unilaterally act on the new decision without first discussing it with those with whom it was originally worked out.  You have a duty to tell your comrades you have "changed" on something if, as and when this happens.

33.  Sharing the Rap

When someone is being confronted and taking the blame for something that happened (i.e., a screw-up of some kind; a serious violation of the social contract) and you know that you also share some of the responsibility or have been doing the same thing yourself, you have an ethical duty to tell the group about it, even if it wasn't apparent to others.